Focus On You,
People Come and Go…
By Dr. Sunil S. Rana
In today’s world, relationships often revolve around convenience rather than compassion. The bitter truth is - people seldom care for you unless they derive some form of benefit, be it financial, emotional, or social. We live in a transactional era, where the unspoken rule seems to be “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.”
The moment you cease to serve their interests, their concern begins to fade like mist before the morning sun. You start doubting yourself, wondering what went wrong. But when you calmly assess the situation, you realize that the very people who once praised you are the ones who turned indifferent the moment you stopped serving their needs. Their care was never unconditional - it was merely conditional courtesy.
They are not bothered about how you earn, as long as you keep spending on them. They don’t care about your time, as long as you are available at their convenience. They are not concerned about your struggles, as long as their comfort remains intact. Such is the tragedy of human association today - self-interest disguised as affection.
The Timeless Lesson from the Epics:
In the Ramayana, we find Lord Rama exiled to the forest for fourteen years. During this period, when his royal aura faded and hardships began, very few stood by him. The loyal few - Sita, Lakshmana, Hanuman, and Bharat - became symbols of eternal devotion, while others vanished into silence. The moral is clear - when life is filled with prosperity, people orbit around you; but when adversity arrives, only the truly loyal souls remain.
Similarly, in the Mahabharata, when Yudhishthira lost everything in the game of dice, those who once sought his company distanced themselves. Only a handful - Draupadi, Arjuna, Bhima, and Lord Krishna - stood beside him. The rest conveniently disappeared when there was nothing more to gain. Krishna’s words in the Bhagavad Gita resonate here:
“Uddhared ātmanātmānaṁ, nātmānam avasādayet.”
(Let a man lift himself by his own self; let him not degrade himself.)
This profound wisdom reminds us that ultimately, your strength lies within you, not in the approval or support of others.
The Psychology of Neglect:
Human beings are wired to seek validation. But when this validation depends solely on others, one’s peace of mind is at the mercy of their moods. The moment you stop catering to others’ expectations, you are branded as arrogant, indifferent, or selfish. Yet, when you continue to serve them selflessly, they take it as your duty.
It’s a paradox:
• Help them - you are expected to help again.
• Refuse once - you are labeled ungrateful.
• Succeed - they envy you.
• Fail - they pity or mock you.
Thus, no matter what you do, you’ll always be judged. So, why not focus on becoming the best version of yourself instead of trying to please those who come and go?
The Art of Self-Focus:
Focusing on yourself doesn’t mean becoming self-centered; it means becoming self-aware. It is about prioritizing your mental peace, your goals, and your growth. Swami Vivekananda once said,
“You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself.”
To believe in oneself is to reclaim control over your emotions and energy. The wise say, “Don’t pour from an empty cup.” You cannot be a source of light for others if your own flame is flickering.
Make solitude your teacher, and silence your companion. When you walk the path of self-realization, the noise of opinions fades away. Focus on your purpose, your karma, and your inner peace - because people, no matter how close, will eventually move on with their own priorities.
Lessons from Life and Literature:
Life is not a popularity contest; it’s a pilgrimage of self-evolution. Even Lord Krishna faced criticism. Lord Rama was questioned for his decisions. Arjuna was doubted by his peers. Yet, none of them stopped walking their dharmic path because of others’ opinions.
As the saying goes, “A lion does not lose sleep over the opinion of sheep.”
Your worth isn’t defined by how many people praise you when you give, but by how steadfast you remain when they withdraw. The moment you stop chasing validation, you begin to experience liberation.
Conclusion:
The time for false concerns and conditional attachments is over. Focus on yourself - your growth, your discipline, and your purpose. People will come and go; let them. The river of life must continue to flow, no matter who decides to step out of it.
Remember the immortal words of the Bhagavad Gita:
“Karmanye vadhikaraste, ma phaleshu kadachana.”
(You have the right to perform your duty, but not to the fruits thereof.)
Do your karma, refine your mind, and guard your peace. In the end, it is you who must live with yourself.
So, focus on you - because people come and go, but your journey is yours alone.
Comments
Post a Comment