Don’t Cast Your Pearls Before Swine”: A Personal Lesson on Giving Advice
By Dr. Sunil Singh Rana
There was a time when I believed that heartfelt advice, born out of years of experience, education, and hard-earned wisdom, would be valued; especially by those close to me. Friends, family members, even acquaintances would come seeking guidance, and I would offer it with complete sincerity, expecting nothing in return but that they listen and benefit.
But I’ve learned- sometimes the hard way- that free advice is often treated as worthless, even if it’s priceless in value.
I would sit across the table from a relative or friend, sometimes over phone calls late in the evening, other times during hospital rounds or short breaks in between my professional commitments. I would listen patiently, understand their problem, and offer a thoughtful suggestion- well-considered, practical, and often deeply insightful.
What did I receive in return?
A nod. A smile. A vague “Haan haan, sahi keh rahe ho,” followed by inaction. My advice- given with all goodwill- was simply not taken seriously. Why? Because I didn’t charge them for it. Because I didn’t present it wrapped in consultancy fees, formal appointments, or institutional labels. What is freely given is casually ignored.
But life has its own way of proving who was right.
In time, those very people who dismissed my guidance came back. Not with apologies, but with problems that had now escalated. The decisions they made against my advice had led to predictable consequences- financial loss, strained relationships, missed opportunities, health complications, and in some cases, irreparable damage. Now they wanted help again.
And where was I? Busy. Engaged in meaningful work. Attending to people who genuinely valued my time, effort, and intellect.
Some tried to reconnect, hoping I’d drop everything and rush to help once more. But something within me had shifted. I had already spent too many years shouting into the void. I no longer had the time- or the emotional energy- to repeat the same things to the same people who wouldn’t listen unless life itself knocked them down.
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”
- English Proverb
It’s not that I’ve stopped caring. But I’ve started caring selectively. Because energy and wisdom, like time, are limited. And I’d rather invest them in people who respect them, value them, and act upon them.
This isn’t arrogance. It’s a self-preservation mechanism.
To my well-wishers, I say: if you truly believe I have something worthwhile to offer, then listen- not because it’s free, but because it’s real. Don’t return to me after everything falls apart, expecting a miracle. Life doesn’t always give second chances. Neither do I.
To those who ignored me once and expect me to always be available, I say- I am not idle anymore. My mind and time are engaged in building something greater, with people who listen, respond, and evolve.
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