Don’t Be; I, Me, Myself…

 

Narcissism versus Self-Confidence

By Dr. Sunil S Rana

There is a very fine line between self-confidence, overconfidence, and narcissism. While confidence is healthy and empowering, narcissism is toxic and destructive; both for the individual and for those around them.

A Disturbing Rise:

Back in 1962, a survey in America revealed that narcissistic tendencies were present in about 12% of people. Shockingly, by 1990, this figure had risen to nearly 80%. This sharp rise reflects the cultural shift towards self-centeredness, ego-driven behavior, and the glorification of “I, me, and myself.”

 What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is not just high self-esteem. It is a distorted self-image, where one begins to genuinely believe they are the greatest person on earth. A narcissist often displays:

• Excessive self-importance
• Lack of empathy for others
• An insatiable need for admiration
• A tendency to manipulate or belittle others

It is, in essence, a self-centered and egoistic personality disorder.

Gaslighting - The Narcissist’s Weapon:

One of the most dangerous tools of narcissists is Gaslighting.

Gaslighting is when a person manipulates you so persistently that you start doubting your own memory, perception, and even sanity. They blame so much that the other person slips into guilt, inferiority, and confusion.

Examples include:

• Constantly telling you “You are overreacting” when you raise a valid concern.
• Twisting facts to make you feel at fault, even when they are wrong.
• Making you believe you’re not good enough “; slowly destroying your self-confidence.

Gaslighting creates victims who live in fear, guilt, and self-doubt; and this is precisely how narcissists control relationships.

 Confidence vs. Overconfidence:

The difference between confidence and overconfidence is subtle but significant:

• Confidence: Believing in yourself while still respecting others’ abilities.
• Overconfidence: Believing only you can do it, dismissing others as inferior.

Confidence uplifts, while overconfidence blinds.

My Encounters with Narcissists:

In my personal and professional journey, I have met many people suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

• Some were in denial, always projecting their failures on others.
• Some thrived on belittling colleagues to feel superior.
• Some gaslighted family members, making them feel guilty for problems they never caused.

These encounters taught me that narcissism is not always loud or obvious. Sometimes it hides behind a charming smile, but with time, the manipulation, arrogance, and emotional harm reveal the truth.

 The Healthy Path: Self-Confidence

True self-confidence is silent, calm, and respectful. It doesn’t need validation or applause. It is about knowing your worth without diminishing the worth of others. It creates leaders, innovators, and kind human beings.

Whereas narcissism only creates a hollow shell — loud, arrogant, and fragile from within.

 Final Thought:

The key to a balanced life is this:

• Be confident, but not arrogant.
• Love yourself, but don’t worship yourself.
• Stand tall, but don’t look down on others.

Remember, self-confidence builds bridges, while narcissism burns them.