When Life Makes a Spectacle of You, the Applauders Are Often Your Own
"Na jaane kyun zamana dushman hai zindagi ka, kisi ka girna kisi ki hansi ka sabab kyun hai?"
By Dr Sunil S Rana
Life is a battlefield, and every warrior faces highs and lows. But what stings the most is not the fall itself; it is the people who revel in it. Often, these are not strangers but those closest to us: friends, relatives, and acquaintances. Their applause at our struggles and failures is not just painful but a stark reminder of human nature’s darker side.
This reality is neither new nor unique to any one person. It has been observed, documented, and philosophized by great thinkers across history. Let us explore this phenomenon through psychological insights, historical references, and the wisdom of Indian spiritual leaders, philosophers, and poets.
The Psychology Behind ‘Taali Bajaane Waale’
Why do people derive pleasure from others’ failures? The answer lies in psychology.
1. Schadenfreude (Pleasure in Others’ Pain) – A German word, but a universal truth. Many people enjoy seeing others stumble because it temporarily elevates their own self-worth.
2. Insecurity and Envy – Often, those who secretly wish for your downfall are the ones who feel threatened by your success. As Oscar Wilde put it, “Anyone can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it takes a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.”
3. Crab Mentality – Derived from the way crabs behave in a bucket, pulling down any crab that tries to escape. Society often mirrors this; when one person rises, others attempt to drag them down instead of supporting them.
4. Social Conditioning: Indian society, like many others, thrives on gossip. People love stories; especially tragic ones involving someone they know.
Historical and Philosophical Perspectives
Our ancient texts and spiritual leaders have spoken about human tendencies and how to navigate them.
1. The Bhagavad Gita: Rise Above Negativity
Lord Krishna advises Arjuna:
"Karmanye vadhikaraste, ma phaleshu kadachana".
(You have the right to perform your duty, but not to the fruits of your actions.)
This profound teaching reminds us that no matter what people say, we must stay focused on our path without worrying about judgments.
2. Chanakya: The Harsh Reality of People
Chanakya, the master strategist, understood human nature deeply. He said:
"Suhrit kriyate kaaryam, na tu snehaat kadaachana"
(A friend helps you based on their interest, not out of pure affection.)
This highlights how even friendships often have an element of self-interest. Those who clap at your downfall may have once been close, but their true nature surfaces in times of adversity.
3. Kabir Das: The Test of True Friendship
Sant Kabir, the great poet-saint, said:
"Dukh mein sumiran sab kare, sukh mein kare na koi, jo sukh mein sumiran kare, to dukh kahe ko hoi?"
(Everyone remembers God in sorrow, but none in happiness; if one remembers Him in joy, sorrow will not come.)
This applies to human relationships too. True friends are not those who only appear in good times but those who stand beside you in hardship.
The Mask of Hypocrisy: Proverbs and Sayings
1. “Dost woh jo dukh mein kaam aaye” – A friend in need is a friend indeed. But more often, people enjoy your struggles rather than standing by your side.
2. “Chandan vish vyaapat nahi, lapte rahe bhujang” – Sandalwood does not absorb poison despite being surrounded by snakes. This reminds us to remain unaffected by negativity.
3. “Aap bhale to jag bhala” – The world appears kind when your heart is pure, but the reality is often different.
How to Handle Such Situations
Now that we understand the problem, how do we deal with it?
1. Detachment: Follow Lord Krishna’s Advice
Krishna’s philosophy of Nishkam Karma (selfless action) teaches us to focus on our goals without being affected by others’ opinions.
2. Choose Your Circle Wisely
As Swami Vivekananda said, “Talk to yourself at least once a day, otherwise you may miss meeting an intelligent person in this world.”
Self-reflection helps in identifying who truly supports you and who just pretends to.
3. Learn from Ramayana and Mahabharata
In the Ramayana, Lord Rama was exiled due to his stepmother Kaikeyi’s manipulation. Even within families, jealousy and selfish motives exist.
In the Mahabharata, Draupadi’s humiliation was met with silence from many who claimed to be well-wishers. This shows that people often abandon you when you need them most.
4. Stay Focused and Unshaken
The best revenge is success. “Lions do not lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.”
5. Gratitude for Real Well-Wishers
Amidst the crowd of critics, there will always be a few genuine well-wishers. Value them. As Guru Nanak Dev said:
"Jis nu tu jaanay sache daas, so dukh vich sukh manay."
(One who is truly devoted sees happiness even in suffering.)
Conclusion: Rising Above the Applause of Betrayal
Life will test you. The applause of betrayal, the laughter of fake friends, and the whispers of jealousy will surround you at times. But remember, diamonds are formed under pressure. The greatest achievers in history have faced the worst betrayals.
So, when life makes a spectacle of you, do not be disheartened. Instead, rise above it like an eagle that soars high while crows caw below.
As the great sage Tulsidas wrote:
"Tulsi is sansar mein, sabse miliye dhay, na jaane kis roop mein, Narayan mil jaay."
(Meet everyone with kindness, for you never know in what form God may come to you.)
Absolutely right, the peace is real happiness, people wonder for the search of peace,they go to Baba's shelter and other places but most of the time they are misguided which leads to frustration.
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