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You Are Valued, When You Serve A Purpose...

 The Utility of Human Life: A Reflection on Transience and Purpose

By Dr Sunil S Rana 

The Sanskrit verse, "विख्यास्यति भवान् तावत् यावत्ते सूपयोगिता। प्रज्वाल्य दीपकं दीप-शलाकां प्रक्षिपेज्जन:।", poignantly captures a universal truth: the worth of an individual is often judged by their utility to others. Just as a matchstick, after lighting a lamp, is discarded, humans too often find themselves valued only when they serve a purpose. This profound insight sheds light on the fleeting nature of human relevance in society, urging us to reconsider our relationships, self-worth, and purpose.


The statement reminds us of an old adage: "Out of sight, out of mind." Human interactions, be they personal or professional, are frequently transactional. This article of mine delves into this theme, exploring the essence of selfless living, the importance of inner worth, and the dangers of utilitarianism in relationships, while drawing wisdom from the thoughts of great Indian and global thinkers.


The Reality of Utility: A Hard Truth


Human relationships are often governed by a silent equation of give and take. In personal lives, friendships thrive on emotional support, while in professional settings, one's skills and contributions dictate their standing. When this perceived utility wanes, relationships often dissolve or turn indifferent. For example, an aging sports player, who once basked in the adoration of fans, finds themselves forgotten once their prime is over. As the idiom goes, "Make hay while the sun shines," it reflects society’s tendency to exploit opportunities or people while they are still beneficial.


This utilitarian approach isn't new. Chanakya, the ancient Indian political strategist, highlighted in Arthashastra that relationships in power dynamics are sustained as long as mutual benefits exist. This practical wisdom remains starkly relevant in modern times, where the transactional nature of relationships often overshadows genuine connections.


The Grass vs. the Tree: A Metaphor for Humility


When a storm strikes, mighty trees fall, but the humble grass remains unscathed. This metaphor resonates deeply with the verse in question. People who base their worth solely on their utility, like the towering tree, often face rejection when they are no longer deemed useful. On the other hand, those who cultivate humility and self-awareness, like the grass, survive life’s storms by finding strength in their intrinsic value rather than external validation.


Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” While this suggests the importance of being useful, it also emphasizes that service should stem from selflessness, not the expectation of recognition or continued relevance. In other words, utility should be a by-product of one’s character, not the entirety of one’s identity.


The Perils of Being Judged by Utility


A life solely defined by utility can lead to a deep sense of emptiness. When people associate their self-worth with external validation, they risk losing themselves in the process. The idiom "Burning the candle at both ends" perfectly describes those who overextend themselves to please others, only to be discarded once they’ve served their purpose.


Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, India’s “Missile Man,” urged individuals to focus on personal growth and lifelong learning. He famously said, “Don’t take rest after your first victory because if you fail in the second, more lips are waiting to say that your first victory was just luck.” His words underscore the importance of resilience and self-improvement, not to prove utility to others, but to fulfill one’s own potential.


The Dangers of Conditional Relationships


Conditional relationships, based on utility, lack depth and authenticity. Consider the idiom “Fair-weather friend,” which refers to someone who is present only in good times. This phenomenon is evident in personal and professional spheres, where people withdraw when circumstances change. A poignant example is the plight of parents who invest their lives in raising children, only to be neglected in old age when their utility diminishes.


Swami Vivekananda emphasized the importance of unconditional love and selfless service, stating, “All love is expansion, all selfishness is contraction.” Relationships based on selflessness are more enduring and fulfilling than those driven by utility, as they transcend the superficial metrics of relevance and benefit.


Embracing Purpose Beyond Utility


While society often measures worth by utility, true fulfillment lies in transcending this narrow definition. The concept of Nishkama Karma, or selfless action, as espoused in the Bhagavad Gita, offers a powerful antidote. Lord Krishna advises, “You have a right to perform your duties, but not to the fruits thereof.” This philosophy encourages individuals to focus on their actions and intrinsic value rather than seeking external validation.


In modern contexts, the idiom “March to the beat of your own drum” encourages individuals to define their purpose beyond societal expectations. For instance, artists, scientists, and thinkers who pursued their passions irrespective of external approval have often left indelible marks on history. Albert Einstein, who faced ridicule for his unconventional ideas, believed, “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.”


Cultivating a Life of Lasting Impact


To rise above the fleeting nature of utility-based relevance, one must cultivate qualities that leave a lasting impact. Kindness, humility, and selflessness have the power to outlive transactional relationships. As Rabindranath Tagore wrote, “I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.” True joy lies in serving without expecting anything in return.


Practical steps can help in this transformation:


1. Self-Awareness: Recognize your intrinsic worth beyond external validation.

2. Build Authentic Relationships: Nurture connections based on mutual respect and empathy, not utility.

3. Embrace Lifelong Learning: Continually evolve to remain relevant to yourself, not just others.

4. Give Back to Society: Contribute selflessly, knowing that the act itself is its reward.


Conclusion: The Eternal Flame of Self-Worth

The matchstick that lights the lamp may be discarded, but the lamp’s light can illuminate countless lives. Similarly, while utility may be transient, the values and virtues we cultivate create a legacy that endures. As the idiom goes, “What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.”


The Sanskrit verse reminds us to strike a balance between being useful and preserving our self-worth. By focusing on selfless service, humility, and inner growth, we can rise above the ephemeral nature of utility, creating a life of enduring purpose and fulfillment.


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