Under Influence...

 Here’s an article crafted from 

The Dual Faces of Alcohol: A Reflection on Abusive Behavior in North India. 

By Dr Sunil S Rana

In North India, social gatherings, weddings, and festive occasions often include alcohol as a staple. Yet, after witnessing numerous instances of people’s behaviors shift radically when under the influence, I am struck by how alcohol can bring out an individual’s most unfiltered—often unrecognizable—side. It’s disturbing how people can express hostility, aggression, or even outright disrespect while drunk, only to revert to being mild-mannered, sometimes remorseful individuals by the next morning. This duality raises important questions about the psychological roots of such behaviors and the social norms surrounding drinking.

1. The Stark Transformation: From Warmth to Hostility

I've personally witnessed how people known for their kindness and rationality seem to morph into entirely different personalities after a few drinks. Often, it begins subtly: a joke that would otherwise be innocuous becomes biting, or a small disagreement turns into an argument. Alcohol strips away their filters, and what emerges can be a raw, almost visceral, version of their frustrations or insecurities. The very same individuals who, in the sober light of day, would be considerate or even restrained, suddenly embody hostility, unleashing words they might never say otherwise.

It’s not uncommon to see these individuals struggle with regret the following day, apologizing and explaining that "it was just the alcohol talking." But this leaves me wondering—how much of what they said is genuinely repressed, only needing that intoxicated state to surface?

2. The Influence of North Indian Cultural Expectations

In North India, there’s an unspoken expectation for men to be tough, assertive, and sometimes even confrontational. Growing up here, I’ve observed how young men are socially conditioned to equate masculinity with dominance. At gatherings, especially among groups of male friends, this dynamic intensifies. Alcohol becomes a tool, almost a license, to “prove” oneself—an unspoken encouragement to let loose, act without inhibition, and show off.

I've seen cases where this cultural pressure to act tough leads to loud, aggressive behavior, pushing some to argue over trivial matters or pick fights over imagined slights. One moment, a man might be laughing, and in the next, he is furious over an innocuous remark, ready to confront anyone who challenges him. And after the effects of alcohol wear off, he’s back to being his familiar, controlled self, as if the prior night’s hostility were a distant dream.

3. Unresolved Frustrations: Alcohol as an Escape

Alcohol is often a means to escape life’s stresses, especially in a country where societal and familial expectations can be immense. In North India, where roles are tightly defined and expectations are high, people rarely get a safe space to express their frustrations. When sober, they suppress a lot to maintain harmony or fulfill their roles. But alcohol removes these shackles, and pent-up frustrations pour out, often in destructive ways.

There was a wedding I attended where a distant relative, usually soft-spoken, consumed a few too many drinks and began berating his wife in front of everyone. The next day, he was apologetic and embarrassed, blaming it on the alcohol. But in that moment, it was clear that his resentment wasn’t new; it had merely been festering under a forced calm. The alcohol brought these emotions to the surface in a way he couldn't control, affecting everyone around him, especially his family.

4. Gender Roles and Emotional Repression

Another aspect I’ve noticed is how men, in particular, are often pressured to suppress emotions or avoid appearing vulnerable. This emotional repression can lead to unhealthy outlets, and drinking becomes one such outlet. Alcohol allows these individuals to release bottled-up emotions that they are otherwise unable to express. However, instead of showing vulnerability, this release often manifests as aggression or verbal abuse.

Once, I saw an old friend, known for being gentle and amiable, erupt in anger at a friend’s gathering after drinking. His grievance seemed to stem from a deep-seated inferiority complex, which emerged as he accused others of belittling him. This outburst surprised everyone, as he was the type of person who would normally go out of his way to avoid conflict. Sober, he wouldn’t have dared to raise his voice. But in his inebriated state, he let out years of bottled-up frustration, leaving him embarrassed and disconnected from the very friends he cherished.

5. A Societal Acceptance of Alcohol-Induced Behavior

What I find particularly troubling is how often these behaviors are tolerated or even excused by society. In many cases, people shrug off such outbursts with comments like, “It’s the alcohol talking” or “He didn’t mean it.” There’s a tendency to let people off the hook for behavior that, under different circumstances, would be considered unacceptable. This permissiveness allows a cycle to persist where people don’t address the underlying issues but instead rely on alcohol as a release.

I once confronted a friend about his behavior, reminding him of how hurtful his words had been. He responded with a laugh, brushing it off as “one of those drunken moments.” This nonchalance, unfortunately, is common. Society’s tendency to view these behaviors as an inevitable side-effect of drinking, instead of as a problem to address, makes it difficult to hold people accountable and encourage change.

6. The Psychological Factors Behind Alcohol-Induced Aggression

Psychologically, the impact of alcohol on the brain is well-documented. Alcohol dampens the brain’s ability to control impulses and judgment, making people less inhibited and more likely to act on raw, unprocessed emotions. In North India, where people may have been socialized to withhold feelings or frustrations, alcohol acts as a potent catalyst, releasing these suppressed emotions.

One could even look at the behavior as a form of cognitive dissonance. On one hand, there are societal and familial pressures to behave in certain ways, but on the other, individuals have their own identity struggles and personal grievances. This dissonance often resolves itself only when they are intoxicated enough to ignore the expectations.

7. The Consequences and Way Forward

Witnessing these situations firsthand has taught me that alcohol-induced behavior doesn’t just affect the individuals but also everyone around them. Friends, family members, even bystanders become victims of this aggression. Children who see their parents behaving in this way, for instance, may carry forward these unhealthy expressions of anger or develop a distorted view of conflict resolution.

Breaking this cycle will require a significant cultural shift. It means building awareness about mental health and emotional well-being, encouraging individuals to seek healthier ways to handle their frustrations, and educating society about the harm caused by excusing or tolerating unacceptable behavior. Only then can we begin to address the root causes, fostering a healthier approach to drinking and emotional expression.

In conclusion, alcohol may amplify certain behaviors, but it does not create them from scratch. The aggression, hostility, or resentment we see in people when they are drunk is often a reflection of unresolved issues within. As someone who has seen this duality play out countless times, I believe it’s essential to encourage accountability, to support emotional health, and to challenge the social norms that allow such behavior to persist unchecked. After all, these aren’t merely “drunken moments”—they are windows into deeper truths that we, as a society, can no longer ignore.